You're Not Alone

by LadyAmp

Although definitive statistics about limb loss are hard to come by, there is considerable evidence that:   *

• There are one and a half million amputees in the United States and 3,000 amputations are performed each week in this country,
• Amputations are relatively equally distributed between men and women,
• There are nine or ten leg amputations for every arm amputation,
• About 55,000 amputations are performed in this country each year for circulatory disease alone, and
• Six in every 1000 people in this country has lost a limb.

* Information: Amputee Coalition of America

Though these statistics are scary, the reason for mentioning this, other than to help satisfy whatever curiosity you might have about how you fit in, is to illustrate that there are many like us out there. Despite the fact that you may not remember seeing any amputees, the chances are you have seen many and simply haven't noticed either because you weren't looking for them or they used prostheses and just weren't noticeable. You really are a member of a rather large group. The important thing to remember is that thousands of people who are also members of the group lead happy, productive lives and you can too.

Going home - Going home may be the most stressful experience you'll face after the amputation. You've been in a hospital, a protected environment for some time. You've had physicians, nurses, therapies around to assist you, give you pointers and overall, aide you in the transition you're about to face. There you've had the protection of them in the event you had to go the bathroom, were in pain, in the event you fell, you knew they were there to help you out. There was always activity and you probably didn't have too much time to think about your situation while you were in the hospital. You had people to take care of you. Your day was highly planned. Your meals were brought to you.

Now you are home and it suddenly becomes painfully clear that you are now on your own. I can remember sitting in the car in the front of our house, dreading the thought of having to hop on one foot with my walker through the garage, through the laundry room, down a hall to the living room and knowing once I got through those obstacles, I had to face the rest of day. I had hounded my doctor to let me go home, promising I was ready and able to face anything. But sitting there in the driveway, I was ready to go back to the hospital where I felt safe.

Going home may feel like a step backward, but in reality it's a step toward healing. Not to say you don't have doubts, because you will! You may feel there is no one to take care of you. Your days are not planned. You now have a lot of time to think about your situation. What will you do? Who will take care of you? How will you do the things you have to do? How will you cope? You may suddenly feel quite disabled.

If you have family or friends that can assist you, don't hesitate to call on them. They will probably be delighted to be able to help. If you are reluctant to ask for help, ask for it anyway. Just tell yourself that it's only for a short time and you'll learn how to take care of yourself soon.

If you don't have family or friends to take care of you in these early days, make sure before you leave the hospital that you find out from the hospital social worker what community resources are available to help you. If a social worker doesn't come to you while you're in the hospital, demand to see one. If the one who comes doesn't seem to know the answers to your questions, demand to see another one. This time in your life is too important to be retiring and compliant. This is your life and you have a right to competent advice!

What do you do when you don't have any help? You've no family close by, your insurance company is getting the hives from the costs they have to cover. You aren't eligible for any assistance through your state's agencies and the only thing you do have is an agency that allows a Nursing Aide to come to your home twice a month to help you bathe. Twice a month? I think at the end of the two weeks I wouldn't even want to be around myself!!!

Know what? It's real! These things do happen....

So what do we do about it? There isn't much we can do but offer support, and keep searching for some way to get by. It's those LadyAmp's that need us the most! What about a Amputee Support Group in your area? They may know of someone who can volunteer some time in between the agency Aide visits? What about Meals on Wheels? They can bring you at least one hot meal a day. Make phone calls, to anyone and everyone you can think of to find the help you need!

Learning To Do Things - Even if you have people at home to help you, you might still feel 'helpless' if there are lots of things you can't do for yourself. After all, you were independent most of your life, you got used to it, and you don't want to stop now.

The best advice that can be offered is to have patience-a lot of it! That will be very hard for you to do. You will become frustrated. You will become angry. You'll cry mountains of tears. But you have to remember that learning to do things for yourself may take some time and struggle, but you will learn. Everyone else has done it and you will too. If you lost an arm, you may have trouble getting your teeth as clean when you brush them as you used to, but brush them anyway. If you lost a leg, you may find it not as easy to get around the kitchen and make your dinner as it used to be, but make your dinner anyway and understand that with every dinner you make it will become easier and faster. You may be stuck in a wheelchair for a while, but learn to do the things you need to do while in it.

If you lost an arm, probably no significant home modifications will be needed. You will learn eventually through talking to other arm amputees, by looking at arm amputee sites on the Internet, by subscribing to the arm amputee list server, and by being creative in your own problem solving that there are ways to do almost everything with one hand if only one is creative and clever. There are many simple things that are available commercially that will make your task easier.

If you have lost both arms, you should hurry to a prosthetist and then, with your hooks, you can learn to do almost everything you did with your hands. There are three things that will enable you to accomplish this. They are patience, patience, and patience.

If you lost a leg you will most likely have problems getting around the house, and you can expect this. You may have problems going upstairs to your bedroom, in which case you should sleep on the downstairs couch until you become more comfortable with going up and down stairs. Ask your doctor if you can use your fanny to get up and down stairs. I did. Not that I went up or down too many stairs at one time, I didn't. But to go up 2-4 stairs it works well. To get yourself back on your feet, use your walker by laying the back end of it on the floor, and using it as a leverage to get you onto your feel again. Check with your doctor to make sure this is safe for you to do!

You may have problems getting on and off the toilet seat, in which case you should get a commode with a higher seat or a toilet seat extension until you learn to do without them-as you certainly will. You will become tired more quickly. So stop and rest.

If you use a wheelchair, put ramps in, although you may think they may only be needed temporarily. If you start out with a wheelchair you may graduate to crutches, a walker or a prosthesis, in which case you can remove the ramps. If you decide to use a wheelchair permanently, keep the ramps, widen doors if you have to, and do anything else you need to do to make your house accessible and comfortable for you.

What happens if you end up on the floor from a fall? Wow, that's a loaded question, because there will come a time as an amputee that you will fall. My prosthetist told me early on it's not 'if' you fall, it's 'when' you fall. And in my case, I personally think it held me back in a lot of ways. My fear of falling was always on my mind and the only fear I had other than having to go through more revision surgery.

If you've read my Journal, you know I fell the first night home from the hospital. I held onto a record of two and half years before I fell again, a major obstacle to overcome for an amputee. But, getting up off the floor doesn't always have to mean you got to the floor by a fall. What if you want to just sit on the floor?? For some reason I wanted to sit on the floor, but getting back up into my wheelchair or back onto the couch kept me from venturing that far down.

It wasn't until one night I got down onto the floor to play with our dogs and when it came time to get back up onto the couch, I panicked. I didn't have a prosthesis so I couldn't use that to get me back up but I suddenly remembered, I did have the couch. I scooted over to it, sit with my back against the couch, and lifted myself up onto the seat cushion. Not difficult at all. But.....

What if you don't have the strength in your arms to get your butt off the floor??? lol...lol....there was a time when I wouldn't have been able to do that, believe me!! But, if you use a walker, you have a handy 'hand' to help you back up.

I never know how to explain to someone, without showing them, what I mean by this explanation. I had a LadyAmp sister ask for an easier to understand description, and that's all I needed to try and explain this better! So here goes:

I then show you in Fig. 1 where the Support Bars are on your walker. I've never seen a walker that didn't have the Support Bars, so I'm guessing (and hoping!) you have them on your walker.

By placing your walker on the floor, with the Support Bars touching the floor, you can use the walker to lift yourself up. The legs of the walker are made to withstand your weight, so don't worry, you can use it safely. If you're a BK amputee, you shouldn't have any trouble using your knee as a brace to stand, but I'm not sure about an AK. To be on the safe side, try it with someone with you as a safety net and precaution. Of course, whenever you attempt something new, ask your doctor if he feels you'll be safe trying to do this!!
Hopefully the image to the left makes sense to you. If not, just let me know and I'll try and explain it better!

Family and Friends-Getting and Giving Support

Support from family and friends is invaluable. But don't be surprised if a family member or a friend is unable to cope with your amputation. It happens. For some, the thought of a loss limb is 'gross' or unbearable and seeing it may be hard for them. Don't be upset. Adjusting to your amputation may be the hardest thing they've had to deal with. So give them time and patience.

Your family and friends can help you do things you haven't yet learned to do for yourself but they should not do everything for you. It may be difficult for them always to find a happy medium between being over protective and seeming to be insensitive. You can help them by making it clear that if you need help you'll ask for it, and by telling them it's okay for them to ask if you need help, as long as you have the right to say 'no thanks'.

I've come across something that may happen to you. Around family members and friends, the words amputation, amputee, stump and others, may be diffcult for them to hear and say. Have a sense of humor when it comes to these words and let your family and friends know those words are fine to say, especially since they are true. Banning the words from conversation will only make the sitation more difficult for those who love you to accept it if you don't allow them to be spoken aloud.

In general, patience and time is on your side. Especially time. As the weeks pass, you'll adjust to your new way of life and the new way you have to conduct your life. As the months pass you'll get a prosthesis to enable you to walk. And as even more months pass you'll find with the prosthesis you'll be able to do more and more which will give you more confidence in yourself and your ability to accept this new way of life.

Your Rights As An Amputee

These rights are important for all amputees!! Please take a moment to review them, they may come in handy one day!!

You have the right to be treated with respect and dignity at all times.

You have the right to fire your prosthetic provider at any time.

You have the right to choose who your provider will be.

You have the right to challenge any decisions made regarding your prosthesis and its components.

You have the right to a properly fitted, comfortable prosthesis.

You have the right to voice your opinion and ask questions regarding your amputation, your prosthetist and your prosthesis.

You have the right to challenge the payment of your prostheses if it is incomplete, does not fit or is unsuitable.

Know Your Rights.....Under the Americans with Disability Act

For answers to any disability questions contact:

Department of Justice-Americans with Disability Act

Phantom Pain, It's Real!

Note: Phantom pain is real, most amputees feel it's effects in some form. For some it's a minor irritation, for others it's as painful as the amputation itself. Searching the Internet, I found tons of information about phantom pain and many ways in which to relieve it.

There is a difference between 'phantom sensations' and 'phantom pain'. Phantom sensations can feel like an itch you can't scratch, or the feeling that you can wiggle your toes. Caution should be used at this time as you could accidently take a step thinking your leg is still there. Phantom pain is the opposite. It is an extremely painful experience. It can begin like a cramp and steadily increase in intensity. Or it can hit you without any warning. This has happened to me many times. For some, putting ice on your stump will relieve the pain, walking, moving about will also help eliminate some of it. If the pain is too much to deal with, immediately consult your physician. There are medications to help deal with this painful process.

~LadyAmp

U. C. San Diego Neurobiologist at Forefront of Phantom Research

Richard Mooney, Mutual Amputee Aid Foundation, with V S. Ramachandran, M.D., Ph.D., University of California, San Diego
with permission 3/2000

Compared to some medical conditions, phantom limb sensation is a relatively modern phenomenon. This is because amputation was not widely practiced - at least not successfully - until the Civil War. However, almost every amputee has experienced the phenomenon - many quite vividly.

The first known reference to phantom sensation (and related pain) didn't appear in a medical journal but in the Atlantic Monthly in 1866, when the story of civil War veteran, George Dedlow, appeared. Since then, spurred on by their patients' pain that often accompanies the phantoms and the urgent need to find effective treatments for it, physicians and researchers have developed and tested many different theories about where phantoms originate and why. Although scientific research has solved many other perplexing medical puzzles during the last 100 years, phantoms still remain a relative mystery.

It was originally thought that phantoms and the pain which is often associated with them originated in the stump, perhaps as a result of neuromas that tend to form at the ends of severed nerves. If that were true, however, there would be no explanation for the fact that many congenital amputees - people who neither had severed nerves nor had they ever experienced having real arms or legs - frequently experience phantom sensations. Neither would it explain phantom vision experienced by many people who suffer vision loss due to cataracts or retina degeneration, or phantom hearing experienced by many people who lose their "real" hearing.

The only sensible explanation is that phantoms occur, not in the limbs, but in the brain. If that is the case, then much of the pain must also originate in the brain. (I should emphasize that phantom pain is a physiological, not psychological phenomenon. Clearly, phantom pain is not imaginary!)

In the "normal," four-limbed body, sensations experienced by the "receptor" nerves in the hands, arms, feet, and legs are sent to the spinalcord over a network of "transmission" nerves. The spinal cord is kind of a "neural superhighway" up which all these signals travel to the brain. The signals are received deep within the brain by the thalamus, a kind of "relay station" that routes the signals through its specialized circuits that are assigned to handle signals from each part of the body. The thalamus then reintegrates the signals and sends them on to the somatosensory cortex - the part of the brain that converts them to sensations we interpret as hot, cold, rough, smooth, etc.

Research done in the 1960s suggested that the brain was "hard wired," that is, its internal connections were fixed in place, something like the electrical wiring in a house. If that were the case, then when a limb is amputated, no signal from it would reach the brain and that would be that - something like having the person on the other end of a phone conversation hang up.

"But that isn't what happens, " Dr. Ramachandran asserts. "My research, and that of my colleagues at U.C. San Francisco, Vanderbilt University, and elsewhere, has revealed that the brain somehow 're- wires' itself so that when the 'wires are cut' between a thumb, for example, and the part of the brain that listens for thumb signals, that part of the brain doesn't just sit there listening to a 'dead line' as it would if the brain were hard wired. Instead, as happens with many amputees, those brain parts rewire to next-door brain parts, which in the human body, happen to be those that listen for face signals. Thus, if I touch a certain part of a patient's face with a Q-Tip, he is very likely to feel his phantom thumb!

"A lot of my work with arm amputees involves charting those 'face maps' in detail. Once I can connect specific areas of the face with specific areas of the absent hand, I can then create 'brain maps' using a technique known as 'Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging.' Through this process, we are learning many new things about how the human brain works. This should eventually provide valuable insight into how people recover from brain injuries, how we learn, and of course, how phantom pain occurs and how to treat it effectively.

"So far, we've learned a little about phantom pain. I suspect the motor command centers of the brain may be one of the causes of it. For example, the motor command center may send signals to a missing hand, telling it to move. In absence of feedback telling the brain that the hand has done what was commanded, the brain may literally flood the neural pathwayswith more 'move' signals - much more and more forcefully than normal. The brain may perceive this 'flood' as pain.

"Certainly, much more needs to be learned before we can explain phantom pain with certainty. The exciting part of my research for amputees is that if the phantoms are in the brain, then the answer to the pain may be there too."

Professor Ramachandran is the head of the Brain and Perception Laboratory in the Department of Psychology at the University of California at San Diego.

Dear LadyAmp

Life changes everyday for all of us and for most it's a normal part of our destiny. But there are times when we're faced with such a drastic change, it's an obstacle we sometimes don't think we can face.

In December, 1999 I was faced with such an obstacle. The loss of my left leg. I have to admit, I never really thought it would happen. As I lay in my hospital bed, between moments of lucidity and excruciating pain, I carried in the back of mind the hope that modern medicine would somehow save me from the terror of no longer being independent.

But learning to accept this new way of life was a struggle. Learning to deal with day-to-day activities that I had taken for granted was a crushing blow to my ego. While I had days where I cried behind closed doors and other days when I didn't care if I ever got better, the road ahead of me was paved in acceptance and understanding that I couldn't see.

The healing for a woman amputee is TIME. It's the only thing we have that we can control. It's in time we realize that we can either accept or reject this new way of life. It's in time that we finally realize who we are isn't going to change. It's in time that we finally accept our disability and what we have to do to make our lives worthwhile. It's in this time we finally acknowledge that there is life after amputation.

As a new amputee, we do things differently than we did before. I had the hardest time accepting the fact that I couldn't take a shower like I use to. Or get up in the middle of the night and head for the bathroom. Or walk around a flea market for any length of time without discomfort from my leg. The list is endless of the things we amputees use to take for granted. But I finally remembered that learning how to do something a different way, isn't failure, it's progress.

Life itself is an accomplishment when we're faced with an amputation. For so many amputees, the amputation is the last resort before losing more than just a leg or arm. My surgeon told me once he had only two surgeries that he hated to do, one was a Mastectomy and the other amputation. I asked him 'why'? He told me when those surgeries are decided upon, it means it's the only solution before a patient is faced with dying. To say the least, it shook me to the core, but it also made me realize, there are things we can't control and if amputation is the solution to a bigger problem, then I owed it to life and to myself to make the best of the opportunity I was given.

So many things we took for granted before our amputation is a triumph for us when we can do them again. Small things like walking, taking that first step with a new prosthesis when we haven't been able to walk in months, because a wheelchair is our only mode of transportation, is an accomplishment. With each new day, we find we can do something better than the day before.

Creating new ways to do things is what an amputee faces everyday. Every new obstacle only makes us a little stronger in our conviction that there really is life after amputation. What I hadn't planned on accomplishing was becoming an advocate for women amputees. Being an avid computer nut, I had created several websites for myself and immersed myself in the development of those. My days were filled with working at my computer which I could do from the safety of my wheelchair.

Even so, it took me months before I could even look on the Internet for amputee sites for women. The thought of reading about what I had just gone through scared me more than I would admit. But it didn't stop my husband from looking, which I found was a destined move on his part. He would search the Internet for information while I slept, knowing I couldn't face that part of my rehabilitation.

One morning as I was hobbling my way down the hallway on one leg and my walker to my wheelchair, I heard him curse at his computer screen. Wondering if his computer had locked up, I made my way to him to see what his computer had done to make him so angry.

"Nothing!" he bellowed at me. "Not a thing!" I pulled my wheelchair as close to his desk as I could. "What?" I asked. He ranted on about how there was nothing on the Internet about women amputees. He searched every site available and found nothing specific. In time, I calmed him down and told him I'd do a search and see if I could find something. Of course, I wasn't keen on the idea, my fears were still with me, but for my husband I would have done anything to relieve his frustration. He’d been through so much for me, I couldn't deny him this one thing.

But I found out that morning, he was right. There wasn't anything specific on the Internet for women amputees. There were a few sites for women celebrities, but they or other sites didn't reach the emotional side of being a woman amputee. I came away from the Internet discouraged. Where could a woman amputee find information? I knew what I had gone through, the emotional roller coaster of guilt, anger and fear. I knew in my heart that a woman shouldn't have to go through the ride of amputation without some kind of support. Not only the support she received from her family, her friends and her spouse, but from another woman amputee.

It took time, a while for the idea to form in my mind. I created websites. Maybe I could create a website for women amputees? Could I do it? Could I bare my soul to the Internet? Could I actually be a help to those women who needed to know what to expect?

Those questions and a hundred more mulled around in my mind for a long time before I finally sat down and began the creation of LadyAmp.

I had began keeping a Journal after I had gotten home from the hospital. In it I had written every sorrow, every lost dream, every pain my body had gone through. I made the decision to put this Journal on LadyAmp so others could see that the roller coaster ride they were on, they weren't alone.

While creating LadyAmp, I cried mountains of tears just remembering the ordeal, my husband cried knowing how painful the memories were. But in the long run, LadyAmp was worth it. I uploaded to the Internet on August 24, 2001 and found out within a week just how glad I was that I had. Women from everywhere were signing my Guestbook and sending E-mails to me thanking me for LadyAmp. I was asked questions about things I had gone through and I was more than happy to reply with my own experiences. Even men who had fathers who were going through an amputation asked questions. I realized I had reached those that hadn't had a place to go before.

As for me, LadyAmp has become a source of healing. Knowing I can be independent again, knowing I'm helping someone to adjust to their new way of life makes a difference in my life.

I want women amputees to know, that just because they're an amputee, it doesn't take away from the fact that they are still women. As I always say, A rose without one petal is still a rose.

June DeLong

FOOTNOTE: This letter was originally written in April/2000 as an article for Aurora Magazine. It's been 12 years since my amputation, and myself and LadyAmp are still here. I can gladly make the claim I've found some wonderful other LadyAmp's who have brought support, amazing tenacity and spirit to LadyAmp. They are very special ladies and I'm blessed to call them friends. I want to thank Brenda, Higgy, Lisa, Irene, Nancy, Karen, Bailey:-) and Crosby:-) for their support to this LadyAmp.

Withdrawal from Morphine

by LadyAmp~:~

I wish I had had someone to tell me at the time I was going through my withdrawal from Morphine what it was. But I didn't, and it's the lack of that knowledge that kept me on the edge of my wheelchair seat for about a month!

I'm not a nurse, so my perception of withdawal may be different than others. The only experience I can go by is my own.

If you were on a Morphine drip for any length of time, you will most likely experience the withdrawal symptoms. The most prevalent symptom was hot and cold flashes. These can last up to about 2 weeks or more, depending on the length of time you were on the drug. The other symptom was trying to keep food in my stomach. Everything I ate didn't stay down long. Those first couple of weeks out of the hospital I lost 9 pounds.

I was on Morphine for 2 weeks, 18 mg. every 15 minutes, which put a lot of the drug into my system. The last few days of the drip were decreased and I even stopped pushing my 'panic button' towards the end of my tether to the drug. But the symptoms I experienced afterward were real, and even uncomfortable.

In my case, 3 weeks after I got out of the hospital I was readmitted for an infected stump and two more surgeries were performed. The infection caused my temperature to rise to 103.2. I had hot and cold sweats and when my temperature spiked to 103.2, I knew I wasn't long for this world. Hubby called the doctor and he 'ordered' me to the hospital emergency room.

To make a long story short, I was back onto the Morphine again for another 5 days. My hospital stay was 7 days, but I had weened myself off the Morphine while I was there.

I was terrified of having another infected stump and having to go to the hospital again, so I was paranoid about any hot and cold flashes. And I was having plenty of them!! Every time I would have a flash, I would take my temperature and every time it was normal. I would shed clothes like it was 100 degrees outside, and as soon as I did, I'd end up freezing! I was dressing and undressing so many times during the day you would have thought I was a crazy! I could never understand why the flashes were so severe and so frequent!

As I mentioned, I couldn't eat anything without it upsetting my stomach, food became an enemy to me. My husband worried about me getting enough nutrients in my body to help the healing of my stump. My sister-in-law suggested Ensure. At least it stayed down and I only had to face the prospect of putting something in my stomach 3 times a day!

It wasn't until months later when I was researching amputee websites, that I found the information about Morphine withdrawals. Talk about a lightening bolt! It suddenly all came together! The hot and cold flashes, the upset stomach.....all were a part of withdrawing from Morphine.

So be prepared! You'll go through them, the hot and cold flashes, the upset stomach. But know at the end of those uncomfortable times is freedom. Remember they are only symptoms of something you needed at the time, but they will go away!!

Walking with Your New Prosthesis

Walking with your New Prosthesis
by LadyAmp

I don't think I'll ever get over the feeling I got when I took my first step in five months! Wow!! For those five months I moved from place to place with my wheelchair or walker as my legs, and take it from me, it's not the same!

Yes, I know we learned how to walk when we were about a year old, but believe me, when it comes to learning it a second time, there's no 'taking it for granted'! After your amputation, you realize that walking will never be the same. And it isn't!

Not everyone gets a second chance to learn how to walk! And, not all amputees are able to walk again, but for those who can, and want to, I've made a list of Do's and Don'ts.

♥ Do: Read as much as you can about the kind of prosthetics available to you. There are different kinds of amputation, so it only goes to show, there are different prosthetics for each. The Internet, your physician, even the Physical Therapist you saw in the hospital are great sources of information about Prosthetists. Use them! Be an informed LadyAmp!

♥ Do: If you have private insurance, (ie: Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Aetna, etc.), call them to see what kind of coverage you have for prosthetics, so when you see your Prosthetist for the first time, he'll have an idea of what kind of leg or arm your insurance will cover. I was forunate in that for my very first prosthesis, they covered 100%.

♥ Don't: Sit on your hands and let the decision be made for you! A 'well informed' amputee is a happily walking amputee!

♥ Do: Ask your doctor (preferably the one who did your amputation) for a referral to a Certified Prosthetist. And yes, you read correctly! I said Certified! Anyone can hang a shingle calling themselves a prosthetist. But you can be sure if you ask for a Certified Prosthetist, you're going to get someone who has gone to school, has some experience with amputees and their needs, and you know if he comes from a recommendation of your doctor, part of the battle is done. I've worked around physicians all my working life, and most will send you where they know you'll be treated well.

♥ Don't: Take the word of a friend or family member about your Prosthetist! I am sorry, I don't mean to be cruel, but we're talking about you walking again! Your friends and family members mean well, but listen to common sense.

♥ Do: If your doctor doesn't have a recommendation, contact the hospital you were in and ask for the Physical Thereapy department. Then ask for the Department Manager. Now, you can ask for their recommendation. Know, they work with amputees all the time, they hear the success stories and they hear the horror stories! They can be a wealth of information.

♥ Don't: Be afraid to ask questions! Oh my!!! I can't express this more!!! Ask, ask again, and ask again the questions you need to have answered! This is your amputation, your life! Whether it's your doctor, your therapist, your prosthetist, ASK QUESTIONS! Examples:

1. How long will I have to wear my temporary prosthesis?
2. How many temporary prosthesis will I go through before I get my permanent one?
3. What are prosthetic socks? Do I need them?
4. When will I know when I need a new prosthesis?
5. How much will my new prosthesis cost?
6. My stump is shrinking? Is that good?
7. How long does my permanent prosthesis last before I need a new one?
8. I'm on a tight budget, where can I find prosthetic socks cheap?
9. Will you take monthly payments?
10. How much will it cost me for each fitting?

♥ Do: Be Careful! Just because you have a new prosthesis doesn't mean you've suddenly grown immune to falling! You haven't! Now, just as in the beginning, you need to guard against falls.

When I got my very first prosthesis, my leg guy told me I could only wear my new leg 4 hours out of the day for the first week. I was stunned!! Hey, I had a new leg, and I was ready to dance!! But he was right! Carrying around the extra weight of my prosthesis was difficult in the beginning! My whole body ached from the adjustment and I had a backache I didn't think would ever go away! But it did. Your body will adjust to your new leg and it will get better.

The second week, he upped my 'leg-time' to 6 hours a day. On the third week he told me I could wear it 8-10 hours a day.

After that, he said I could wear it for as long as it was comfortable. It was much later than that when I began wearing my leg all day. From the time I got up in the morning, until I went to bed at night, I wore my leg. But in the beginning, I also used my walker with my prosthesis. With my body aches, my arms hurting I knew I couldn't withstand the strain on my stump as well. So I played it safe and used my walker for about a month. I gradually moved onto a quad cane and then a straight cane. Of course, I didn't do all of this overnight. It was a year and half later when I started using the straight cane.

♥ Do: Give yourself time! Your body has gone through a tramatic experience. Your life has changed. But with patience, support from those around you, you'll definately make it!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!!

Tips & Tricks for the Amputee

We all could use a Tip now and then, even more so for the amputee. I've learned several on my own and through frustrating experience. For those who are non-prosthetic users, you may find some of these tips useful as well. If you have a Tip or Trick that would benefit my visitors, please share it with us. E-mail me. I would be happy to add it to this already growing list!


New Tip from Higgy: Higgy's tip was such a God-send for me, I had to share it. When your prosthesis isn't covered, dirt, dust, dog hair, cat hair, etc., can get into the foot area of our leg. This can decrease the life of your leg. She suggests using a can of the compressed air you use to clean your keyboard. Hold the can about 6 inches away from your foot when spraying, but it's great to clean the foot area and the pin hole if you're using that kind of socket.

New Tip from Sara: The issue of gardening for an AKA has come up. In my mind, this would be near to impossible, but I've learned that 'when there's a will, there's a way' and when a LadyAmp has a question she can't find an answer to, she only needs to ask someone here at LadyAmp. Of course, foremost is safety for an AKA LadyAmp. As can be expected, gardening is a dirty job, and keeping your prosthetic shoe from looking like it's gone three rounds in a pigs trough is important. Sara answered the 'call'. She told us she's been using a rubber shoe that simply fits over her prosthetic shoe and it keeps her prosy shoe safe and dirt free. I've also added these links to the Information Links page. These are link for different the different kinds of the rubber shoes that Sara was able to find on the Internet.

Here are some sources and examples:

Some basic French gardening boots:

http://www.gardenscapetools.com/pages/Boots.htm - This is a nice looking, probably quite serviceable example. I'm not sure the heel is high enough, but it's not dead flat, so it would probably work quite well, especially with all that lovely traction. $50

Wellingtons: The Standard - http://www.wellie-boots.com/usmofcart/original.html English people don't usually say "garden boots" or "rubber boots"; they say "wellies," meaning Wellingtons. These are top of the line, brand-identified -- even have owners' social clubs. People who own them are passionate about them, and apparently for good reason; I've heard of people losing their wellies, but never wearing them out. The "Hunter Original" is probably the best for our purposes, with its nice heel, exemplary traction, and big calf buckle. It is $89, however.

(NOTE: Even if the heel looks big in the picture, so does the sole. When measuring the height of a heel, you really only want to take into consideration the difference in thickness between the sole and the heel. So even though this heel looks like it's an inch or more high, the sole looks like it's at least half an inch thick, so the actual height will nicely meet the arch of your average prosthetic foot.)

Muckmaster

http://www.growersupply.com/muckmaster.html - The groovy thing about these is that they breathe. $98, on sale right now for $79.95

Currin Rubber Work Boots

http://www.currinboots.com/rubberbtwebpg/rubber_workbootsHP.htm- Much of the variety I described above is represented on this one page, from cleats and steel toes to economy models. You see a lot of this type in Southeast Alaska (nicknamed "Skagway sneakers") because of all the rain: http://www.currinboots.com/rubberbtwebpg/xtrtuf.htm

Everyone wears them everywhere, and even eventually wears them out. These, though, look like they might be made just for your purposes: http://www.currinboots.com/rubberbtwebpg/gray%20max.htm I don't see any prices.

A more feminine option: http://www.clogsonline.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/product-id/341322.html- These are smaller, lighter, and more fitted. You don't have to roll them down to get them on, but you also can't go calf-deep in mud, compost or manure in them. However, they might be just the ticket for more ladylike activities or just puttering about. They've also got awesome traction and what looks like a perfect heel, they come in some nice colors, and they're only $26.95.

A good deal on another solid choice: http://www.sierratradingpost.com/product.asp?wc=true&base_no=64372 - I think Le Chameau is another respected brand of well-made gardening boot, and this is a classy looking but still quite practical boot with great coverage at a sale price of $45.95.

Lacrosse hunting boots at L. L. Bean: http://www.llbean.com/ If you can hunt in it, you can weed-whack in it. Here's another nice, tall boot with somewhat sculpted calf, appropriate heel, traction, and a buckle. You can get it in camouflage so the weeds never see you coming, or go for the nice smooth green.

New Tip from Jan: "Hi, I’m Jan from Indiana, and I’m a double BK, 9 years now. My best trick ever is to spray your stumps with deodorant. I found out soon after my amputations that by the end of the day my legs smelled like dirty tennis shoes. I’m a girly girl, and this was driving me wild. I tried every powder, soap I could find and nothing helped. Finally out of desperation I sprayed my legs with deodorant, and IT WORKED!!!! No more smelly legs."

New Tip from Cvicfaris: "One of the things that makes bathing so much easier for me is having a basin or basket which hooks onto my tub or bench which contains my soap, shampoo, bathing sponge and anything else I might need such as razor, etc. This keeps everything at hand so that I don't have to risk injury by reaching for these items on shelves, etc". (Thank you Cv!!!)

1. When using a bath bench in the shower, make sure it is stable and fits well between the sides of the tub. A bath bench has a tendency to gather water in the metal legs. If you take the bench out of the tub before the water has time to drain, you'll end up with water on the floor and that is extremely dangerous!! Keep your bath bench inside the tub until the water has completely drained from the bench. Remember too, your bench is necessary! Give it a once over every couple of months. Make sure screws are tight, that there is no wiggle in the leg frames. Your safety comes first and taking a couple of minutes to make sure you can take a bath safely is important!

2. When using a walker, when you want to sit down on a chair, toilet, couch, move backward into it until the back of your good leg touches where you want to sit down. This way you know you've hit your mark.

3. If you're still using a wheel chair, find a tote bag, an old purse, something you can hang over the handle of your wheelchair. If it has a long strap, ( ie: an old purse) put a knot close to the purse itself to keep it from rubbing against the wheels of your wheelchair. Keep your medications, glasses, pen, paper and even the remote control in it. This way you always have what you need close at hand.

4. If you are on a walker, there is a wire basket that can hang on the front of your walker. This is a life saver in a lot of ways. You can carry items from the kitchen to where you are going, such as a soda, something to eat....these baskets aren't expensive and you can request one prior to being released from the hospital. Your Occupational Therapist should make sure you have it by the time you are released from the hospital. Using one of these baskets made me feel just a little more independent. I was able to get some things for myself without having to ask someone to get them for me.

5. My biggest fear was steps when I lost my leg. It took me weeks to even attempt to try and climb just a simple 3" high step. A trick my Physical Therapist showed me was instead of going up the stair in a forward motion, turn around and go up it backward. I know that sounds silly, but for me, it worked. Work with your P.T. to see if going forward will be a problem. If so, ask about going backward, it couldn't hurt.

6. With my first temporary prosthesis, I had a hard time keeping the sleeve from sliding down my leg. With it sliding down, my prosthetic socks kept bunching up. What I finally did was take a strap piece of Velcro and wrap it around the upper part of my leg. It worked wonders keeping my sleeve up.

7. Using a walker day in and day out will cause callouses on the palms of your hands. My hands got so sore I could hardly hold myself up. The handles of the walker are hard, though they are sturdy, they're still made of a hard plastic. I ended up wrapping a wash cloth, folded in two around the handles of my walker very tightly with rubber bands. I didn't want them slipping off and me taking a tumble. The wash cloths helped considerably and I finally didn't have sore hands any more.

8. Adaptive aids are expensive. Walkers, canes, wheelchairs, bath benches, they all add up to a lot of money. I've always suggested if a family member, friend are garage sale venturers, ask them to keep their eyes open for some of these items. Using 'used' adaptive aids is nothing new. With a good cleaning with soap and maybe even bleach, you'll have a good piece of equipment, and at the same time, save yourself a bundle of money.

9. This may sound grasse, but when it comes to tushies, some of us are more endowed than others:-). A toilet seat can suddenly become your enemy when you're trying to use it and you have only one leg. Here is a suggestion my husband figured out for me. When you receive your toilet arm rests (this is a brace that is attached to the toilet seat frame. It enables you to use both hands to push yourself up from a sitting position), there is one for the left side and the right side. For me it was uncomfortable to sit with those cold, metal rods against the side of my tush. In my case, I had the bathroom counter on my right and the tub to the left. I couldn't use the tub to push myself up, but I could use the counter. So my husband took the right hand arm rest off and kept the left one there. It made for a much more comfortable experience, if you know what I mean.:-)

10. Don't sit all day in your wheelchair and watch TV. Get out!! Move around, use your walker even if it's to just go out on the porch or patio. Getting fresh air and a change of scenery can make a gloomy day feel a little better.

11. Be patient with yourself! If you are like me, you wanted to walk the minute you got home from the hospital, but it just isn't possible. I had to take small steps toward my goal of walking again before I could actually take that first step. Believe in yourself and you'll get to your goal.

12. Try and get back into the activities you enjoyed prior to your amputation. If you loved jogging, then read about. Just because you can't do it right now, doesn't mean you won't in the near future. Reading magazines and books on your favorite pasttime or hobby helps the time go by and you are kept up on current events. For me, it was my computer and writing. I found I could still participate in my job as a news correspondent by writing articles about other amputees in need of assistance. Doing something you enjoy will bring back the feeling of independence.

13. In the beginning I was terrified of taking a shower! Before my amputation I could stand outside the shower and wait for the water to warm up and then jump in. But that changed! With my amputation came a new way of showering. Now I had to BE in the tub before I could turn the water on and there was no telling what was going to come out of the shower head! So.....my husband bought a hand held shower head. It worked miracles! I was able to hold it, until the water got warm and then take my shower. You can buy them just about anywhere anymore and the cost can be very minimal.

14. SNOW!! That was a four-letter word in my book!! For most amputees, snow and ice can be a horrible experience. I can remember once getting out of my car and taking two steps and feeling the ground slipping out from under me. I froze right where I was and was scared of moving. If you are using crutches or a walker, this is especially terrifying. BUT, there are ways around it. If you're going to family or a friends house, ask them to prepare a place for you to walk. Believe me, they don't want you hurt and will be glad to help you out. Salting the driveway or sidewalk will work wonders. If you are using a prosthesis (which I was using at the time) it can still be a scary moment. I've had other amputees tell me they take an old broom stick, hammer a nail into the end of it and use it as you would a ski pole. If nothing else, it can help you break up the ice in your path and allow you to get to where you're going. IF, you can't find a safe way into a building or house, then DON'T risk hurting yourself, even if it means going back home.

15. Newly out of the hospital you can expect to be exhaused with every little thing you do. Even as times goes by, moving around, getting from one place to another will tire you out. Don't think you're being 'whimpy' if you have to stop and rest. Do it!! If your muscles are tightening up, if you feel a strain on your good leg then it's time to sit and rest. This is a sign you're overdoing it. Heed that sign!!

16. A 'dressing stick' can help an arm amputee with dressing by taking hold of clothes and holding them in place while slipping arm through shirts, blouses, etc.

17. There are elastic shoe laces that enable a leg amputee to easily slip into their shoes. Taking advantage of Velcro laces that can be easily closed are also useful.

Devotees & Fetishists

Devotees and Fetishists
by Kimberley Barrada of the now closed website CripWorld

All amputees should be aware of this segment of society. There is a lot of controversy regarding devotees, the pros and the cons. In my research of the Internet for woman amputee sites, I found thousands of sites devoted to the 'devotee' and the 'fetishist'.  In fact, there may be more sites for them then there are on actual amputation. You be the judge.

What is a devotee?
Where are devotees found?
What is the difference between a devotee and a fetishist?
Are they dangerous?
How can I protect myself?

What is a devotee?

Devoteeism or acromotophelia is the sexual attraction to people with amputations.

Where are devotees found?

Devotees are known to put themselves into situations where they have frequent opportunities to meet, interact, touch or otherwise be exposed to amputees.  Devotees have been found leading Amputee support groups, involved in amputee/disabled sports events and programs as coaches, volunteers and officials, in prosthetic facilities as prosthetists, technicians and assistants and in orthopedic medical/rehab offices.  There have also been devotees acting as medical officers at the Paralympic Games (one was in fact the medical officer to a European National Team).

What is the difference between a devotee and a fetishist?

In my experience, there are 2 different types of devotees.  The devotee and the fetishist.  I define the difference as one of respect and adult/mature interaction with the amputee. 

The devotee is interested in the amputee and is up front about the attraction.  These individuals find amputees "even more beautiful due to the amputation." 

Devotees are motivated by the desire to be near and to assist and interact with an amputee in a positive manner.  Many devotees have been exposed to amputees in a positive lifestyle situation (for example a family member, parent, teacher or childhood friend may have been an amputee) which results in a natural attraction to an amputee.  The "stump" is not the object, but is an attraction trigger.  Devotees are known to build limbs, design living aids and generally assist the amputee to whatever degree they are able and some amputees consider this to be a positive addition to their lives.  In fact, there are amputees who are happily involved with devotees due to the inherent nature of the situation.

Fetishists, on the other hand are of the opinion that "most people are repulsed by amputees, but not me" thereby trying to insinuate that amputees would be overlooked by the general population as potential mates/friends/lovers etc.  This is blatantly untrue, but serves their purpose of reducing the amputee to a "stump" or objectifying the amputee and removing the person from the equation.  These people prey on new amputees and those with low self-esteem and a negative body image.  They take great pains to reinforce these negative attitudes in order to make themselves appear benign and to keep the amputee from rising above them.

Are they dangerous?

I do not consider Devotees dangerous.  To a devotee, the amputation is a trigger but not a fixation.

Fetishists, however, are extremely dangerous and are suffering from a severe mental illness and are to be avoided at all costs.

How can I protect myself?

Knowing the difference is the biggest safety precaution you can take.

Devotees are positive and up front about their attraction and are not interested in reducing the amputee to an object.

Fetishists can usually be identified by their furtive methods, refusal to leave you alone, harrassment and forced, unsolicited and/or surreptitious photography.  These individuals will also pose as family members of amputees and ask very pointed, intrusive questions regarding personal aspects of the amputation.

They are also known to frequent orthopedic wards and may often be the first person they see after surgery. 

Comments like "You are STILL attractive" and other comments designed as negative reinforcement are also common.

Protection comes in many forms, including maintaining and developing a strong sense of self worth and self-esteem and developing and maintaining a positive body image.  This is especially important with child amps and those who are new amputees.

Do not allow photography of your residual limb or of your child by anyone you do not know.  There is no reason for a prosthetist or other pseudo-medical person to need a photograph.  This includes casting and testing sessions as well as physiotherapy or gait training.

Please follow this link to read an update to Kimbereley's article.

Going Back to Work

Going back to work after an amputation is a difficult, if almost an impossible decision to make. For some women the decision has been made for them, they have no choice. Their amputation keeps them from returning to the work they did before their amputation. But depending on the kind of amputation you had, your stamina, the support around you and your doctor's approval, you can return to work, even without a prosthesis.

Of course, no one said it was going to be a piece of cake. Believe me, it rarely is. For me, I HAD to return to work within 3 months after my amputation or I would lose my health benefits, and at the time, I had no choice.

Before you plunge back into the work force, there are lots of things to consider. These are only a few you have to contemplate:

The first obsctacle you may not consider is does your employer WANT you back? Don't be too surprised by this question. ALL employers HAVE to accept you back, it's a potential discrimination lawsuit if they don't. For most employers you have now become a liability. If you hurt yourself on the job in the condition you are in, it's a Worker's Compensation claim that they themselves will have to deal with and believe me, those kind of claims eat away at profits.

In some cases, your employer may make returning to work difficult. In my case I was working 40 hours a week, 5 days a week with benefits. When I told my boss I was coming back to work, it wasn't 2 days later I was informed that my hours had been cut to 20 hours and I no longer had ANY benefits. I'm 'assuming' that they thought I would give up my idea of returning to work but I surprised them. It made me angry that I had lost my leg and now I was losing my job. So I accepted their proposal and went back to work. I took my benefits on the COBRA plan which probably didn't make them very happy either, but I was determind to go back to work. At the time I was doing it because I thought I needed to cover as much of the COBRA costs as possible, but I realize now it was to prove to myself I could.

There are lots of things to consider when going back to work. Stop and think about the layout of your office (or where ever you work). Remember what obstacles there are to get INTO your office. When you had two legs, most likely you didn't think about such trivial things. But that changes once you become an amputee. Are there steps going into your building? Can you park your car close to the entrance? Is there handicap parking? How many handicap spaces are there? If there is only 1 or 2, will you be able to claim one of them for yourself or will it be a guessing game every time you go to work? Do you have a handicap placard for your car? (These are not difficult to optain from the Motor Vehicles Department of your city. You may have to get a note from your doctor stating your disablity and that it is a permanent one. I was told by a LadyAmp visitor that in Indiana she didn't have to have a note from her doctor, because she could prove to the MVD that she was PERMANENTLY disabled. Yet, when I went in to apply for one, (Ohio) they needed a note from my doctor stating that my amputation was permanent! Go figure!!) Is there a ramp instead of stairs you can use to get into your building? And once you get INTO your building, what other obstacles are you faced with? More stairs and no elevator? Or do you have a long walk to your office? Can you get your walker through the front door of the building with the least amount of energy used? Some office building doors are heavy and this can be a hinderance. These are questions you need to ask yourself BEFORE you can even consider going back to work.

Ask yourself about your stamina. Your upper body strength HAS to be at its maximum if you are planning to return to work. If you are using a walker or crutches, your arms have to be able to withstand getting you into your building and back out again AND get you from one place to another once you get to work. That's not to say you won't be getting your share of upper body strengthening while you're at work, because you will! Holding your body upright for any length of time is going to put strain on your arms and upper body. So be prepared! You're going to hurt for a few days. Your arms are going to ache, even your neck muscles will be sore. But...it will go away. I know, I had to deal with it.

What about your good leg? Is it going to be able to withstand the strain of going into and out of your building? You'll be placing all your weight onto it and your leg isn't use to that much strain at one time. Your leg will tire easily, it'll ache from over-used muscles, and muscles you haven't used! There were times I thought I couldn't take another step because my good leg ached so badly! But with each day came increased ability to get from one place to another a little easier than it had been the day before. Of course, to make matters worse in my case, my amputation was during the winter, when snow covered the ground, ice and sleet were at it's worse and I had to walk through all of this with a walker and only one leg. I had to overcome some major fears when going back to work. If it's winter time, you'll be faced with these obstacles as well. But FACE THEM!! If getting into the office after an ice or snow storm scares you, call the office and have someone outside waiting to help get you into the office. In snow country, most office buildings and/or professional buildings will have 'salted' the parking lot the first thing in the morning. That does help! ALWAYS ask for help! Don't be afraid to ask!! BUT....if getting into the office after such a storm is impossible, DON'T GO!!! You're safety is priority! You don't want to hurt your good leg, because that will put you out of commission for a long while!

When I started out, I thought I had kept my leg strength up to it's maximum, but I had NO idea how wrong I was! The strain of getting into, out of, going to and coming back from different areas of your office will put a lot of strain on your one leg. Don't be afraid to sit down when your good leg begins to tire. Place chairs strategically around the office, the copy machine room, fax room, even the coffee room, (most bosses won't mind!!) for you to rest when you need too.

The one thing we all take for granted at work is going to the ladies room. I know, that may sound grasse, but it's something you have to deal with. If your ladies room is right there in your office, you won't have to worry about it too much. As long as your walker or crutches can make it through the door, you should be alright. Most ladies rooms anymore have grab bars and if yours doesn't, you might want to consider asking the building manager to install them for you. In most states in this country it's the law! Again, don't be afraid to ask!!!! It's important to keep yourself safe!

BUT...if you have to leave your office and travel down some hallways to get to the ladies room, then you have another obstacle. I was faced with this. I HATED having to go to the ladies room. What use to take 3-4 minutes suddenly took 18 minutes!!!! Be prepared for it!!! I stopped drinking my morning cup of coffee at work because I knew I'd end up having to go to the ladies room. It's another obstacle, but I know you'll face it. We all do and it will get better!

I can guarantee the first month back to work will be like a year! But you'll work past it!! You might want to consider working just enough hours to keep your medical benefits. Of course, you'll need to talk to your boss about your ability to come back to work and if you can do the same job you did prior to your amputation. If you were a waitress, it's doubtful you'll be able to resume the same duties until after you get a prosthesis and are able to walk again. If you work at a desk with minimal traveling through the office, you should do alright.

These are only a few of the obstacles you'll be faced with when you are ready to get back into the workforce. You will need a release from your doctor, stating you can return to work. If he won't release you to do so, your employer isn't obligated to give you back your job. Check your states requirements for long term medical leave. You may be entitled to some kind of Disablity if you aren't able to return to work. See my article on Disability.

Coping With Your Loss

It's been six months, or ten months, even a year since your amputation. Time has gone by and the world around you has continued to go on. How could that be? How could things stay the same when you've changed so much? You stare at the part of you that's missing, or you can't bare to see what it looks like and once again, you cry. You don't feel 'whole'. You miss what you lost, as though it were someone close to you.

The loss of a part of your body is the same kind of grief as if you'd lost a parent, a child or sibling. And it's grief that you have to deal with. You may not recognize it, you may not know it's there. It sneaks up on you, without warning, without any indication you've even thought about it. But it's there, it's real, and you will have to face it sooner or later.

You need to grieve, to get past the emotional roller coaster your heart and mind are going through.  It may take 6 months, 10 months, even a year to accept and to grieve. There is no time table for grief. But in time, and most likely when you least expect it, your heart will tell you when the time is right to move on. Or it may come as a surprise to you when you realize you woke up that morning and you were no longer angry at the world around you. But lets face it, it's a hard cycle to deal with. The changes in your life, in your future, in your own heart will be difficult, but at the end of the cycle is recovery and peace of mind. I know, I've been there.

My first emotion was denial. I had 12 days before my amputation to accept the inevitable. But I didn't. Even after surgery, I had my husband lift the sheet of my hospital bed to see if my leg was gone. His tears and the pain on his face told me what I already knew.

My heart ached. I wanted to be left alone. I didn't need anyone, I didn't need pity or support, I didn't need anyone to help me get through the hardest thing I would ever face in my life. I could do it by myself.

Behind closed doors I cried. I felt sorry for myself, I felt angry. The anger inside of me welled up like a volcano ready to erupt. Why did this happen to me? Why? Why? It was the one question I could never answer. Even today, I still don't know.

With a second admission to the hospital just 3 weeks after coming home with an infected stump, my denial and anger only grew. I didn't want to see the beauty in the winter snow around me or the love and support my husband and son gave me day in and day out. I was angry!! It was justified anger!! I had a reason to be angry! I had a reason for not wanting anyone around me! I was the sole member of my own pity party and no one else was invited.

When I returned home again from the first revision of my stump, my world evolved around 10:00 in the morning and 6:00 in the evening. The infection left my stump in need of twice daily whirlpools that were so painful I cried though them the first week and cried even more because I knew I had to go through the whirlpools for 2 more months. I promised God if he got me through just one more day of whirlpools I would be good. I would have made a promise to the devil himself if it would have stopped the pain I was in. I wanted to sleep. During sleep I didn't have to face anyone, especially myself. When I wasn't in the middle of a whirlpool, my mind kept wandering to the future. Where was I in this big picture they call life? I was an amputee, what could I offer the world?

It took time, but I finally found myself, my life as it came to be. I realized that the world will change around me, but I can change with it.

Acceptance came slowly, very slowly. With each new accomplishment I made, I found a thread of hope to hang onto. My first thread of hope came when, after only 3 weeks of whirlpools, my doctor was ready to close my stump. You can only imagine my shock at this development! The whirlpools were suppose to take 2 months! But he told me we had accomplished cleaning my stump out in 3 weeks, not 2 months. He looked at my shocked face with a grin and said, 'You did good". Wow!

My second thread was getting my first prosthesis. My next thread was after sitting in a wheelchair for 5 months, I took my first step. But each thread can come unraveled at times. Seven months after my amputation I had to have my last revision. I cried for an hour because the last thing I wanted to do was go into the hospital. Even with that small unravelling, my threads became stronger. My stump finally healed closed, and with my prosthesis I had graduated from a walker, to a quad cane to a straight cane. Each day was an adventure in firsts and an abundance of fears that I finally came to terms with. My reward for not giving up on myself was finally walking without the assistance of a cane.

We learn as we go along. We know our own strengths, what our own bodies can withstand and what our mind will accept. We carry the fear of falling as a constant companion. My prosthetist told me once, "It's not 'if' you fall, it's 'when' you fall". That scared me silly!! But he was right. The night I got home from the hospital after my amputation, I fell, right onto my newly amputated stump. I swore that would be the last time. And I held that record for two and half years before I had my next fall. Thankfully, I had worked out my fears and when I did fall, I didn't hurt myself. I ended up with a bruise on my back, along with my slightly bruised pride.

So, with 13 years under my belt being a LadyAmp, I've learned there is life after amputation. There is still a world to explore, family to love and the ability to know I've finally accepted my loss. I've became 'whole' again.

I've been reluctant to mention another resource that's helped me accept my life and go on to the next phase. Some people don't want it told and they're turned off by it. But I have to say it. I know in my heart that I wouldn't be where I am now without the faith I've placed in God. I thank Him everyday for keeping me here in this world. For the loving support from my husband, son and family. Without my faith I think I would still be sitting in a wheelchair. But He gave me the strength, the love and guidance to move forward.

Always remember. it takes time, but you'll get there. Believe in yourself, and you can accomplish anything!

Amputees & Airports

All amputees who travel know the procedures of explaining their amputation and answering questions that go along with going through and getting past the metal detectors and x-ray machines used to keep our skies safe. But since the terrorists attack we've all had to deal with a new way of traveling.

In the March/April 2002 inMotion magazine from the Publication of the National Limb Loss Information Center, an informational article is written by Christina DiMartino on Airport Security for those with prostheses. For those who do not receive inMotion magazine, I'd like to highlight some of it's suggestions.

• Give yourself plenty of time in the event you reach a security station that will require more than just a visual observation of your prosthesis.
• The delivery of security at one airport may not be the same at another. Be prepared. Don't count on one security station to communicate to another in the same airport (if you have to go through more than one) that you will be arriving at another. Rarely does one station speak to another. Be prepared to give another explanation.
• Wear loose clothing in the event you have to disrobe.
• Let your body language speak for you. If you communicate clearly and then ask them what you can do to prove your disability, you're less likely to run into any lengthy problems. This isn't a promise, but it can't hurt.
• For some guards, using the word 'prosthesis' may not be a good idea as some may not know what the word means. 'Artifical leg or arm' may be a better term.
• In some cases, be prepared to be touched. Some amputees don't like drawing attention to themselves or their disability, but unfortnately, it can't go unnoticed at airport security. This may sound obnoxious, but you will have to 'deal with it' if flying is your only recourse.
• Contact Airport Security of the airline you will be flying before making a reservation to tell them about your prosthesis and find out what you and them can do to avoid a lengthy security check.
• Be prepared for the unexpected! You never know what you'll have to go through to get on board a plane.
• If you need a wheelchair, while making your reservation, ask for a wheelchair and the day of your departure, call the airline again to confirm your request.

The AirCarrier Access Act (ACAA) and the Department of Transportation's rules prohibit discriminatory treatment of people with disability in air transportation. Since the tragic events of September 11th, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has issued directives to strengthen security measures at airline checkpoints and passenger screening locations. In securing the national air transportation system, where much of the FAA's efforts have been directed, steps were also taken to ensure that the new procedures preserve and respect the civil rights of passengers with disabilities. The FAA's Fact Sheet provides information about the accessibility requirements in air travel in light of strengthened security measures by providing a few examples of the types of accommodations and services that must be provided to passengers with disabilities.

Dedication

LadyAmp is dedicated to my husband Ed. Without his love, his support and his undeniable courage to go through what he did for me, I wouldn't have made it through this ordeal. He has been my friend, my support, my rock and a shoulder to cry on when I needed one. He accepted me long before I ever did. My hope and prayer is that every LadyAmp in this world has the same support I am so fortunate to have.

To my Ohio family, who never once looked at me like I was less than who I am, I am so grateful to you. And to my sister Sue and Mom in California, you always kept me on my toes, (even though there are only 5 now :-) and supported my triumphs and cried with me at the setbacks. You have no idea what it means to have such a supportive family!

To my son Patrick, who never let me get away with feeling sorry for myself and still doesn't, I love you. In so many ways he's made me face some of my biggest fears by standing with me when I was too scared to stand alone.

To my daughter Debbie who prayed and cried for me, and my son David who never wavered in his belief I would make it, I love you more than anything and I couldn't be prouder of you!.

From my family in California, Florida, Georgia and Nebraska (you know who you are!! :-) who supported my husband as much as myself, I adore you!

To my family, I dedicate these pages. I love you all.

A New LadyAmp

I have created this blog to make it a little more interactive. I will be adding information over the next couple of weeks. ~LadyAmp~